Rebirth Read online

  “Unfortunately, yes.” Nodding down the hallway, he replied, “But he’s already headed to his next class. You’ll be able to catch him after school.”

  “Oh, thanks! Well I had better run back before I’m late to class again.” Kyle started to run down the hall, until he knocked books out of a girl’s hands. “Oops! So sorry, here let me help you!”

  Hotan stopped in front of the cathedral. Its outer walls were just as clean and bright as the inside had been the last time he had been there. He had kept his distance from the church, needing to build up his courage. Whatever happened that night, it left an unnerving sensation with no memory and a place he did not recognize anymore. A jogging duo of women passed him by, both commenting on the beautiful church.

  Sighing, he felt exposed in what once had been his sanctuary from the world. No longer the invisible fortress where he could be alone, it stood out among the homes around it and shouted its existence. Taking a deep breath, Hotan stood there with his hand against the new wooden doors. Calming his nerves, he walked inside.

  Maybe coming here will help me remember what happened that night. I feel like a piece of me is missing, and my body still gets waves of shivers. The doctors insist its severe dehydration. I can’t shake the feeling that they are so wrong…

  Walking down the aisle, he looked at the miraculous renovations. It was as if the church had been reborn as he looked down at his own reflection in the marble floors. A surreal sensation grew with every glance he made as he paused in front of the podium. The crucifix was powerful as it hung in front of the rows of pews. It demanded attention to the front of the church and the feelings it invoked were amazing. Hotan’s eyes took in every detail as he observed the battered look of the cross.

  The granite statue painfully nailed to the wood stared down at him with a mournful expression. He admired the adaptation of the large granite wings that cast a shadow across the pews through the light of the stained glass window. The statue would have seemed almost free with the wings spread so wide, if it hadn’t been tied down with that earthly possession. Shifting his attention, he could hear a trickling sound. In the back right corner, a fountain of holy water flowed from what he assumed was a natural underground spring. Walking over to it, he looked into his own face in the shimmering reflection.

  Do I look that sad? Maybe the statue and I have a lot in common. We just want to be free, but we’re both being forced back to the ground.

  “Hey!” He jerked at the sudden sound of Kyle’s voice. “I was hoping to catch you at school since Hisota said you were there today. How are ya feeling? You need help with anything?”

  “I’m fine.” Hotan took in a deep breath as he broke eye contact with his wavering reflection in the fountain. “So what brings you to the church?”

  “Figured you would come here, you know, fall back into routine. You’ve been extra quiet, lately. I mean you’re the strong silent type, but this is sort of scary silence stuff, ya know?” They both started walking back down the aisle towards the front doors. “Plus, I wasn’t sure if I would find you passed out on the floor again.”

  “I should be fine.” They paused a moment as Hotan looked Kyle in the eyes, taking a firm grip of his friend’s shoulder as a sign of reassurance. “They said I was super dehydrated. Most likely, a result of all the stress and not getting enough sleep lately. I’ll take better care of myself, since none of us really want a repeat of this debacle.”

  “Definitely man... well, guess you know I’m there for ya.” Kyle sighed. “Did Shellie catch a ride with her girlfriends today?”

  “Yea, I think they were going to go study.” Hotan rubbed his jaw a moment as they walked outside. “I feel bad, they were asking me to help them with Calculus homework. I may be a genius, but I lack the patience to teach others. It’s so hard for me to pitch it in a more dumbed down version, since it makes perfect sense to me when I look at the stuff.”

  “I think Shellie understands.” Kyle started laughing as he watched Hotan straddle his motorcycle and strap on his helmet. “Plus, that one time you tried to help me it was a disaster. You have a short temper when it comes to tutoring. Well, that and Hisota.”

  “Tell me about it,” he muttered, starting the bike.

  Hotan waved good-bye to Kyle before racing down the street. As he zoned into the drive home, passing through the endless rows of houses and subdivisions, he started recalling the first time he met Shellie:

  It was the first day of high school, and the freshman were all getting their fair share of harassment by the upper classmen. As usual, he had kept a low profile and cold-shouldered all the encounters thrown at him. The day was nearing a close as he walked to his locker for one last book exchange. Turning the corner, he found himself walking into a scene of two jocks pinning a girl against her locker. Their grins and expressions were clear that they weren’t going anywhere until they got what they wanted from her. That girl was Shellie.

  “C’mon, sweetheart. Why wouldn’t a freshman like you want to go on a date with one of the senior football players?” His grin was faltering at this point, showing his frustration with her refusals.

  They had been at this for some time before Hotan had come across them. He went unnoticed as they continued harassing Shellie, “Think of how popular you’ll be when everyone finds out we are dating?”

  “Get over yourself.” Shellie tried to push through the two jocks, but a tight grip on her arm shoved her back against the lockers. “Ow! Let go, you’re hurting me!”

  “Darian doesn’t just ask any girl out, you know?” His friend scoffed at her, “And no girl has ever turned down the chance to date my friend here.”

  “Well consider me the first.” She pulled her curly short hair away from her mouth as she jerked her arm away from him. “If you don’t mind, I was aiming to be on time to all my classes today.”

  “I don’t think so, doll.” Darian pushed her yet again into the lockers, his smile was long gone as she continued to rebel. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me yes.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Her face paled as she realized this was starting to push deeper than just freshman bullying. “You can’t go around forcing girls to be with you! That’s messed up!”

  “I’ll do what I want, when I want.” He placed his hand on her hip and she slapped it away. “I dare you to do that again.”

  Sweat ran down the side of Shellie’s cheek as she swallowed back her fears. Darian was massive, twice her size. His short dark hair and dark eyes only added to his menacing demeanor. She glared at his companion, a slightly lighter haired boy with light colored eyes who started to shift nervously. It was becoming clear that this was getting too aggressive even for him. Once more, Darian placed his hand on her hip. She grimaced as she aimed to slap his hand away again, fearing he would hit her for the action. Her hand missed, but his hand was gone.

  “What the hell?” Darian roared as Hotan tightened his grip on his wrist. “Who do you think you are?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Hotan’s voice was calm and solid, as always. “Are you ok?”

  Shellie stood in silence as she looked from Darian’s face of rage to the stern expressionless face of Hotan. “I, yea, now I am.”

  “Let go of me! Mikey, get him off of me!” Hotan had worked Darian’s arm behind him. Twisting it in a way that Darian couldn’t break free without some sort of pain prevented any struggling. “I’m going to kill you for this!”

  “Man, I didn’t sign up for this shit.” And with that, his accomplice rushed away, leaving the two boys and the frightened Shellie alone. “Fight your own battles, Darian.”

  “Now, apologize.” Hotan tugged at Darian’s arm, sending an excruciating pain to his shoulder. “Apologize and promise you’ll never touch her again.”

  “What if I refuse?” Darian tried laughing through his discomfort as he gave Shellie a baleful glare. “You going to hold me here forever?”

  “That was your plan.” A smirk crawled across Ho
tan’s face. “Tell her sorry and promise to leave her alone, Darian. You’re not going anywhere until you tell her.”

  “Go screw yours-” Hotan slammed him into the lockers next to Shellie, causing her to squeal as she continued to stand there in her shock. “Dammit!”

  “If you keep telling me no, I’ll make sure you’ll be kissing your football career good bye before ever kissing another girl.” Hotan’s words stung at Darian’s ego as his shoulder throbbed and he stared at Shellie’s wide eyes. “Now, let’s try this one last time. Tell her you’re sorry and promise to leave her alone.”

  After a moment Darian sighed, looking Shellie in the eyes and spoke, “I’m sorry. It will never happen again.” Hotan shoved him harder against the lockers. “I promise! I’ll never mess with her again! I’m sorry! Now let me go!”

  Darian slid to the floor on his knees, rubbing his shoulder as he gave Hotan a sour look. Ignoring him, Hotan turned his attention to Shellie who still seemed stunned and confused. Rubbing the back of his neck, he finally looked her in the eyes, catching her attention.

  “Do you need me to walk you to the administration office? Nurse’s office? Class?” Mustering a sincere smile, he waited for her decision. “It’s up to you. I can just leave you here, but I won’t do that until I know you’re ok first.”

  “I, I think I’ll…” She watched as Darian finally stood up and walked away. He was still holding his shoulder, his face red with anger. Hotan had left a lasting message and Darian would not be bothering her anymore. “I don’t want to go to class or go home…”

  “Ok, that’s a start.” He took a moment to read her baffled expression and body language. “I’ll tell you what, how about we go for a walk off campus? I’ll be sure to get you back in time for the buses. I like to go to the old church around the corner to clear my thoughts. Maybe some place safe like that might help you relax?”

  Looking him in the eyes, she weighed her options for a moment before responding, “I would like that.”

  By the time they made it back to the school, he had Shellie laughing and giggling. She was a happy person by nature and it was a relief to see he was able to snap her out of her shock. It felt so strange to feel the warmth of her arms around him as she hugged him good-bye. He hadn’t expected it and took a minute before he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back.

  Once more, she threw him off guard as her lips softly kissed his cheek. She left him behind as she boarded her bus and it pulled away. He found himself standing there admiring the moment, surprised at how much his own heart fluttered over those tiny gestures. The next day at school, he found Darian avoiding any hallway he was walking down and Shellie hanging on his arm.

  It was not his intention to steal the girl away with an heroic act. At the same time, he couldn’t let something happen to anyone like he saw going down. No matter how many times he opened his mouth to say no, he lost the will to do so with each smile and stare they exchanged.

  He had plenty of girls that passed him notes asking if he had a girlfriend or that a friend of theirs had a crush on him. The hearts he had broken every time he threw one of those letters in the trash grew every year. Perhaps it was time to let someone through the door.

  He admired her courage against Darian. Most girls would have given in, but she was brave and stubborn. It wasn’t hard falling in love with someone who made him feel happy by just being near him.

  Chapter Four

  The cold air from his apartment’s air conditioning welcomed him as he walked through his door and locked it behind him. He walked past his kitchen and flopped down on his couch. The single window in the living room had the blinds closed and the room grew darker as the sun continued to set. Sitting there in the dark silence of his apartment, he tried once more to recall the events that had happened over a week ago.

  He couldn’t shake the feeling that something important was missing from his thoughts. Closing his eyes tight, he let out a groan of frustration. His head ached every time he came close to recalling whatever it was that he had forgotten. The only visual image he received was the crucifix and its mournful expression as it had looked down on him.

  A sound met his ears like that of paper rustling. Opening his eyes, he glanced at his door to see an envelope on the ground where someone had slipped it into his apartment. Walking over, he paused a moment staring at the wax seal before taking a deep breath and opened it. Inside was a single line of script with gorgeous handwriting that belonged to a true calligrapher. It simply read:

  Midnight at the Church

  A rush came over him as he unlocked his door as fast as his hands would allow him. Running out into the hallway, he looked right and left, finding no one in sight. Desperate, he ran down the stairs and through the main hall in hopes of seeing who may have left him the letter.

  “Are you okay?” It was Annie, his landlord, standing at her door with a laundry basket full of linens in her arms. “You look pale, are you getting sick again? You’re not going to pass out on me, are you?”

  “N-no.” He stuttered as he made eye contact with her. “I just, well, did someone come walking out this way?”

  “Not that I noticed. I just came down the hall and was unlocking my door after doing some laundry.” She took a moment to set the basket inside her apartment and came back out. “If anyone was out and about I would have passed them for sure. What’s wrong?”

  “It’s nothing.” He sighed rubbing the back of his neck for a moment as he sorted through his thoughts. “I think a lack of sleep is getting to me again. Sorry to spook you, Annie.”

  “Well, just call me if you need anything, Hotan.” Annie gave him a warm smile as she went back into her apartment. “Good night!”

  Making it back to his living room, he dropped the letter onto the coffee table. He sat on the couch glaring at it, pondering who could have written it. It was clear that no one he knew of had the skills for such artistic writing. Furthermore, the wax seal ruled out every one. Such an old-fashioned touch and staring at it gave him a nostalgic sensation.

  Who sent this to me? Why would anyone want to meet me, and then set the place at the church? The church is so vague but I know which one they are referring to. Worse is that whoever this is, wants to meet at midnight. Is this what happened to me the last time? Or is this Hisota or someone else’s way of getting under my skin?

  Picking the letter back up, he leaned on his knees as he thumbed the writing. After several minutes, he closed his eyes, trying to remember. Chills crawled across his skin as he recalled the day he was found on the church floor. Straining his concentration, he managed to see a glimpse of a memory. He wasn’t alone that night in the church, without a doubt. There had been a man standing over him. All he could recall was the sad grey eyes that had stared down at him.

  Is that who sent this letter? What good is it if I can’t recall what happened? Either way, how do I know if some-

  A knock at the door jolted him from his thoughts. Biting his cheek for a moment, he weighed whether or not to answer it. Another round of knocking shouted through his apartment, demanding to be answered. Hesitating for a moment, he opened the door.

  “Well, it seems Prince Charming does know how to answer a door.” Hisota’s dark eyes gave Hotan a rebellious glare. “It seems clear to me you don’t know how to answer a phone or email these days. At least I can confirm that, yes, you are alive, and yes, you are standing.”

  “Now’s not a good time, Hisota.” Gritting his teeth, Hotan pushed his annoyance back. “I’m not in the mood to entertain company, let alone you.”

  “Well excuse me for being the caring friend.” Scoffing, Hisota narrowed his eyes at him. “I just wanted to apologize for giving you a hard time at school. There’s no doubt you’re still not feeling well.”

  Hotan was in no mood to respond as he glowered at Hisota from his doorway.

  “Moving on…” With a sigh and smirk Hisota finished what he had initially came to say. “Once more, I am sorry, r
eally. Call me if you need anything. I sometimes forget you don’t have the luxuries of letting Mom and Dad deal with things, like the rest of us. Get some rest, see you around, Asshole.”

  “Thanks.” It was a bland reaction on Hotan’s part, but his mind would not let go of the letter that sat on the coffee table behind him.

  Great, now I have Hisota starting up with me. He never comes around to be apologetic.

  Closing his door, he leaned his back against it as he stared into his pitch-black apartment. The walls and objects were nothing but barely visible dark grey blobs and the air itself seemed to have frozen time. The humming of the air conditioner kicking on filled his ears as he pictured the grey-eyed man’s face once more.

  The shape of his face had been thin and gaunt as if he had lived a hard life, yet not a wrinkle grazed his skin. His hair had glimmered, a silver grey like his own or possibly white. At first glance, one could have assumed they were related, but Hotan had no living relatives. Actually, his Dad might still be alive, but deadbeat father’s tend to keep their distance. His mother had informed him that on both sides, his grandparents had passed away and beyond that, no one really knew.

  I’ll go. If I am ever going to get some answers about what happened, this might be my one and only chance. I’ll just have my cell phone ready and be on alert. The decision made, he had to wait to see what would come of it. Nevertheless, this all still feels like a dream. Nothing logical – and worse, I am thrown into dealing with everything alone, again.

  Exhausted from his dilemma, he decided to wash the tension off his muscles in the shower. Eyes closed, he indulged in the beating pressure of the water on top of his head as he took deep breaths of the steam-filled air. Feeling the muscles loosen in his neck and shoulders, he cracked his eyes to watch the water and soap bubbles swirl down the drain.

  There are days I just wish all my troubles would wash away just as easily as that…